My Girl

I lost my beautiful Bella on the Fourth of July. She had a large, cancerous tumor we didn’t know about on her spleen that ruptured. She was the best dog, my best girl, my best buddy. I adopted her as a stray from our county Humane Society. She wasn’t the dog I originally wanted but ended up being the dog I needed. They say that even though you’re the one who rescues a dog, the dog actually rescues you. It was true with Bella. I am writing about her in my cancer blog because six years ago, when I was going to adopt Bella, I wondered if it was fair for me to adopt a dog when I had metastatic cancer. Would I even be around long to take care of a dog and make a commitment to her for the rest of her life? What would happen to her if I died? I felt like I might be making a bad decision, but I really, really wanted her. And she was the best decision ever. I made it a goal to stay alive until I lost Bella. She was a very fearful dog with a tough history, and I felt she needed a special way of being cared for, and I vowed to outlive her as hard as goodbye was going to be someday. And boy, have the past two days been hard. But I am comforted knowing my dad is Up There taking care of her for me now. This year has been a hard one from the start. Two really hard losses. They say bad things happen in threes. I can’t help but wonder if my cancer will come back as the third. But then I think that my Dad and Bella are two more angels I have watching over me and protecting me. And that was Bella’s name when I adopted her: Angel. She has always been and will always be my angel.