Grace, Kelly

I’ve learned in counseling that I don’t give myself a lot of grace. I don’t when it comes to self-esteem, mistakes, guilt, parenting, and just being a very busy woman in today’s world trying to keep up with all her responsibilities. I’m slowly learning what it means to give myself some grace. And I need to give myself some grace when it comes to fighting cancer, too. I need to embrace the days my body needs rest, the days when I can’t keep up with everyone else, when I can’t keep up with my old self. I need to do some more exploring about this word “grace,” and I might make it my next cancer word — for the next phase of this journey — as I try to give myself more of it. I had an MRI of my chest today. I had the most scanxiety I’ve ever had going into it. I had to consider that this remission could possibly be over and I’d have to psych myself up for a fight again. I had been having a symptom of something that could be a sign of breast cancer again, or it could be a sign of an infection. My oncology team was great and ordered the MRI and started me on treatment for an infection. My MRI came back with NOTHING. Yay!!!!! I think the antibiotics did the trick. So, I am so relieved today and am content with knowing that if this area of my body came back clear, I have no reason to suspect there might be anything wrong somewhere else. Of course, there always could be, but this scan coming back with clear results boosted my confidence and hope again that my PET scan in November could be clear again. I can get back to being positive and trusting that everything is OK until proven otherwise. It helped make my decision not to get a PET scan before November unless I have any symptoms. It’s a risk going off treatment, staying off treatment and not getting a scan every three months but once a year. But I am going to keep doing what I’ve always done and staying positive and having trust in God until my scan in November. So, I wanted to update you all on my scan results — GOOD NEWS! I am feeling great today. Happy 4th to all! And remember to give yourself some grace! Stay safe and healthy, everyone!