Positive Vibes
Today, I met with oncology. The nurse practitioner walked in saying that it was good to see me and how it had been a long time. Yes, it had!! I like it that way since it means I am still in remission! We went over my bloodwork from earlier this week, and everything looks good, except that I’m low on iron, but that is not unusual for me. And we think menopause is to blame. I’m blaming everything on menopause now! Grrrrrr!! I have been a little worried because I’ve been flushing, getting hot flashes and night sweats lately, and I had all those when I had cancer. But now we are blaming menopause. At least that’s what I hope it is, and that’s what I’m going to say it is.
The nurse practitioner said that I should have a yearly PET scan now. I went in thinking I was going to have a scan in June, after six months. She wrote me a referral for a scan that I can have anytime before my next appointment with my oncologist the first week of December. She recommended I get my scan in November, just prior to my appointment. I was pretty sure leaving the office that I wanted a scan NOW. This has been the longest I’ve gone without a scan, and although I get scanxiety, and I don’t want a scan because I don’t want to know I might have cancer back, it is always good to get the assurance of a good, clear scan. But after lunch at Panera’s, I am feeling like I don’t have any symptoms, so why worry yet? I also want to get to Venice this fall before I have my scan, and I don’t want any bad news – and going back on treatment – to get in the way. Yet, if cancer is back somewhere, I want to catch it early. I don’t know what to do, but, at this point, I am aiming to wait till October or November for the scan, and if I come down with any symptoms, I’ll get scanned earlier. I’m just a little nervous that all the stress I’ve had since January might have brought my cancer back, and I want the assurance of another clear scan to prove me wrong.
Overall, I left the appointment feeling really good, like I’ve got this for now! A biyearly oncology appointment and a yearly scan – this is not getting much in the way of just living! And I LOVE it! I can live a lot of life between those appointments and the scan! It gives me hope that I can live for years while in remission instead of going month to month like I have been for years. I am finally planning for things months or years ahead, and it feels good. I have hope.
I also felt really good the other day when the following health notification popped up on my watch: The number of steps you took per day was higher over the last 18 weeks – by a couple thousand!! I am finally gaining back energy!!! I feel better than I have in 10 years. I can do stairs much more easily – not easily!! – but much more easily. I can work out harder and longer. My resting heart rate is going down. It’s great to see the proof in numbers corroborate how I’m feeling. And to think I might be becoming a statistics person, after all?! I have a quote on my treadmill that reads: Exercise is a gift, not a chore. And for so long, I have cursed that quote because exercise has felt like a chore, since 2012. But now, I am enjoying it again, I look forward to it every day, and I can do it without it feeling like a chore. I will know I’ve made it when I can swim a daily mile again, or if I can even do a lap again, at this point!! But I’m getting there, slowly but surely, and with time, I will do it! I am so grateful for time. It’s one of my blessings. I am thankful, grateful and happy. I never thought there would be another chapter of my life beyond cancer again, but I think I am in it, or starting it, and it’s called “Healthy and Happy,” and that’s the vibe from this day forward. Stay happy, healthy and safe, everyone!